There floats a lot of stuff about love... vague definitions, about it being unquantifiable, unmeasurable, and not comprehensible to rationality. Many say it is a 'feeling'. A feeling of deep attachment to something/someone, the withdrawal of which causes pain. Since it is a feeling, it also has the ability to arouse tremendous emotion, which is also confused with the definition of love itself... if the emotions associated with love are removed, would love make any sense at all to many people? So, what is the perception of love in those of us, with the 'emotional capacity of a teaspoon'?
I think love is something that stems from an initial selfish need that then evolves to accommodate moments of selflessness. There's a book by Stephen Covey, where he compares the 'love' in any situation to a bank balance. You put something in, you take something out. You sometimes go on overdraft, but for the account to stay active, you got to put back in, to reach a healthy bottomline. It makes sense. After all, no one wants to be giving all the time. No person is selfless all the time, not even a mother. So here, love is about understanding, accepting differences, and showing willingness to work toward a common goal. Why do we do it? Because we benefit from it, it gives us happiness. It does not involve emotions, feelings, or intimacy... things that we normally associate with love. And this love, is applicable to a global sense. I can love humanity. I can love you. I can probably even love loud neighbors. There's a friend who says that true love is when you can actually 'love' a person who has harmed you... how do you love a person who has raped your sister, or put a gun to your head? It seems a tall order, but in this definition, it is probably possible. However, my love doesn't mean I condone the person's actions, but I accept his weaknesses, his inherent humanity. He will be punished, but does not become an object for hate. So hate, I assume, has to be the utter opposite; an unwillingess to accept/understand someone. So there, to all you unbelievers, I've stripped love of all its glamor, gloss, and it still makes sense. The emotions that we experience are normally a product of our interactions, our intimacy, and not a product of love. The expression of love, or the lack of it, induces all emotion. Feelings for a person is not equal to love. But the intimacy, the emotions, the testosterone, the oestrogen, and the feelings, all of 'em mix with the underlying love and create the colorful, beautiful, and totally imperfect 'love' that we share with 'that one person' :) Gotta love biology for that!
So, there you go kids, now you know what to look for! All you girls that sit starry-eyed, dreaming for that perfect 'Darcy' and boys who walk about looking for love in the prettiest pair of legs, you know what you gotta do :) And for the ones moaning, crying and wasting over 'lost love', get a life!
Edit 12/26/2010: An npr article that shares the same view, albeit written much better
http://www.npr.org/blogs/13.7/2010/12/25/132291375/what-is-love#more
I think love is something that stems from an initial selfish need that then evolves to accommodate moments of selflessness. There's a book by Stephen Covey, where he compares the 'love' in any situation to a bank balance. You put something in, you take something out. You sometimes go on overdraft, but for the account to stay active, you got to put back in, to reach a healthy bottomline. It makes sense. After all, no one wants to be giving all the time. No person is selfless all the time, not even a mother. So here, love is about understanding, accepting differences, and showing willingness to work toward a common goal. Why do we do it? Because we benefit from it, it gives us happiness. It does not involve emotions, feelings, or intimacy... things that we normally associate with love. And this love, is applicable to a global sense. I can love humanity. I can love you. I can probably even love loud neighbors. There's a friend who says that true love is when you can actually 'love' a person who has harmed you... how do you love a person who has raped your sister, or put a gun to your head? It seems a tall order, but in this definition, it is probably possible. However, my love doesn't mean I condone the person's actions, but I accept his weaknesses, his inherent humanity. He will be punished, but does not become an object for hate. So hate, I assume, has to be the utter opposite; an unwillingess to accept/understand someone. So there, to all you unbelievers, I've stripped love of all its glamor, gloss, and it still makes sense. The emotions that we experience are normally a product of our interactions, our intimacy, and not a product of love. The expression of love, or the lack of it, induces all emotion. Feelings for a person is not equal to love. But the intimacy, the emotions, the testosterone, the oestrogen, and the feelings, all of 'em mix with the underlying love and create the colorful, beautiful, and totally imperfect 'love' that we share with 'that one person' :) Gotta love biology for that!
So, there you go kids, now you know what to look for! All you girls that sit starry-eyed, dreaming for that perfect 'Darcy' and boys who walk about looking for love in the prettiest pair of legs, you know what you gotta do :) And for the ones moaning, crying and wasting over 'lost love', get a life!
Edit 12/26/2010: An npr article that shares the same view, albeit written much better
http://www.npr.org/blogs/13.7/2010/12/25/132291375/what-is-love#more
5 comments:
you broached a delicate topic and navigated the murky lines of difference with great skill... i enjoyed reading it... interesting... hope many more will follow sooooooooooooooooooooooooon
honestly,do u believe what uv written ;)??? huh?
Gri
of course di, i believe everything i say :)
See Sandra Bullock didnt find true love!
And Sharukh Khan found love in the prettiest pair of legs - Gauri was the owner of course.
Deeep Kabhilan DEEEEEP!
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